On A Cold March Day In Princeton
On a cold March day in Princeton, I got into my car. Butterflies flew in circles within the walls of my tight stomach. I was Confident, Happy. I have not felt that way since that same cold day in Princeton. Getting into the car, my mother told me to always remember how proud of me she was. I saw that she was teary-eyed, heard that her voice cracked with every phrase, and I asked her what was wrong. My mother, who never cries unprovoked, who is strong and sometimes mean, who does not cry because she is an adult. Who does not cry because she is strong, was crying. Not sobbing, but fighting tears, making me more nervous when I was already so nervous. I asked her “are you crying?” because I was confused and had no better way to express my confusion, except by saying “I’m confused”. But I didn’t say that because that was the wrong thing to say. But I don’t think “are you crying?” was the right thing to say either. She answered with “I’ve just been thinking about your grandmother.” My grandmother, my amazing mother’s amazing mother, who caused none of us any tears, was making my strong mother, my mother who did not cry often, cry. It’s ironic, I think, that those who cause the least tears in life cause the most tears in death. Disappointed for some reason, I told myself that I would win my match for my mom to make her happy.
I lost.
And my mother, who does not cry often, who is strong,
My mother cried.
LILY! This is amazing!! It gave me goosebumps: you pictured your mom in such a motherly and adult way and made her crying seem like a rare occurrence- emphasizing how you were trying to make the reader feel. This made me feel compassion and sadness for your mom and your diction was perfect for expressing that emotion. Well done Lily!
ReplyDeleteLily, you did an awesome job!! Your writing is amazing and helps the reader visualize the rarity of the situation. Amazing!!
ReplyDeleteLily, I absolutely love this vignette! I love how you show that the strength in people is not always shown and it helps the reader feel the deep emotions. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great vignette. Like "My Papa Who Wakes Up Tires in The Dark" in Mango Street, it describes the shock of seeing a parent cry very well. I also like your sentiment of "It's ironic, I think, that those who cause the least tears in life cause the most tears in death." Very true, and very well expressed. Most of all I love the last three sentences, which you've emphasized brilliantly by separating them into individual paragraphs; you really let the reader connect with your desire to make your mother feel better by winning, your disappointment in failing at this, and finally emphasizing the shock of seeing your mother cry by once again saying "My mother cried."
ReplyDeleteThis was so amazing how this whole vignette was turned into a memory. I loved how it was set up to be such an great and important moment that rarely occurs. Sometimes it is hard to see how a person is feeling if they dont always show their emotions as much, and by having the mother cry shows how much the situation impacted her.
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